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12 December 2006 @ 07:03 am
Sometimes things are so messy. I wish they weren't.
God is still good though. Sometimes things need to be broken all the way down and thrown all over the place for us to get the perfection and the neateness. I need Him to lift up my darling.I don't like his unhappines. It hurts something inside me, too. Which, while it sucks, I think is a good sign.
I'm one of the most blessed women I've ever known.

I fought with Mom and she wrote me this beautiful e-mail afterwards about how she was sorry and we were both being silly and blach. But honestly-- it was incredible that she apologized.
My boyfriend is probably the most wonderful guy alive. He's not without flaws, I see them, and accept them. But he loves me like no one ever has. It's a little bit scary, that feeling. But it's also convicting. Jesus, through Matt, is teaching me love. "Crazy."

I'm exhausted and wired at the same time. I'm listening to Reel Big Fish, and having a strong desire to be at the show again. I wish I hadn't had that hideous headache during "Take On Me" because I totally would have surfed.

Now I'm rambling. I can't wait for break and all the selfish reading and writing I get to do.
This week is going to suck with a special fervor.

Vaya con dios.
Current Mood: thankfulthankful
Current Music: Good Thing, Reel Big Fish
08 December 2006 @ 04:42 pm
my mother is the best person i've ever known.

Current Music: california one (youth and beauty brigade), the decemberists
06 December 2006 @ 01:21 am
Matt bought me The Point by Harry Nilsson on vinyl. I'm delirious with happy. It's so beautiful and so bittersweet and lovely. "Life Line" is such a gorgeous song.
So i'm sitting here in my room, listening to Harry Nilsson, surrounded by books and music, mugs and pens and pictures, full and thirsty, studying Spanish against my desire.

I want to write instead. Lots. Go walk to the One World Cafe and sit in a chair with a cup of coffee and write. I've got two or three good stories going right now. Spanish seems so pointless tonight, especially in light of what else is going on in my head.
I talked to Natalie about Jesus tonight. She's so curious and interested. It's bizarre. But delightful. I just keep praying it would be God talking through me and not me just talking. I'm pretty sure God doesn't stutter. Or cuss. Which I did a couple of times. But here's faith in what could be.

I'm going to go back to Spanish. No me gusta espanol, y quiero escribir y acostarse en tiempo. Pero yo se no es possible. Blech. Estoy tomando el francés año despues.

Buenos noches, mis amigos.
Current Location: dorm
Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated
Current Music: Are You Sleeping, Harry Nilsson
03 December 2006 @ 02:27 am
...i think that my fascination and adoration for Ryan Adams is, at times, a titch unhealthy. He's not sublime. He's not even Dylan-- well okay, that's no really fair, nobody's Dylan. He's... Aerosmith (good, at times awesome, when bad, still tollerable, and relatively long lasting). But not as hard. I don't know. He sort of sounds like everyone sometimes, and then sometimes he sounds like no one. I think that.

The Parker Posey thing sort of makes sense, although I dunno-- the stupid fangirl in me hates it. Still-- I hope they like make it, and that there's a Jesus-y thing that happens in their lives. I would love to hear "Dear Chicago" in Heaven or at least "Winding Wheel" and "Thank You Louise".

Anyway. Today was Mum's birthday. It was awesome. Melting Pot-- ate WAY too much food. Currently am waiting out a food coma so I can go to sleep without massive indigestion. It was nice to hang out with Matt today as well. Chilling Chez Peterman was a lot of fun.

It occurs to me that I have a test on Wednesday on Chapters 5 and 6 of Spanish. I haven't even glanced at chapter 6. Guess I know what I'm doing with the rest of my night.

That, and going emochild listening to Ryan sing "Rescue Blues".

(it's good to be back).
03 December 2006 @ 02:10 am
Alright fine.
I'm back.
I missed the journal.
Vox is just boring, I think.
<3 h.
19 October 2006 @ 03:49 pm
I went to Vox.
I will,of course, still be checking friends pages here.

A new chapter in my Blog life begins.

Ah, sarcasm.

Check it out.

Love (always).

Current Music: Sparks, Coldplay
09 October 2006 @ 04:12 am
i'm distracted by lyrics.
so tired.
must write three more paragraphs.

Always remember the pact that we made
Too young to die, but old is the grave



-bucket, kings of leon
Current Location: bed of room
Current Mood: exhaustedbut happy
Current Music: energy mix.
20 July 2006 @ 07:43 am
I started a blog. It's a thematic blog. Different from my usual Teen Girl Squad ramblings (such as these, which I will be drastically cutting down on). You should check out that one. It's going to be fun... maybe.


Current Music: I'll Believe Anything, Wolf Parade
06 July 2006 @ 01:17 pm
cycle through your mp3s on random.
select the first 25, and choose a lyric from each one.
list them, and let your friends try to guess the songs that the lyrics belong to.
strike off the songs as they're guessed correctly.

1) i read the body count out of the paper/and now it's written all over my face

2)oh the things that i've been, and all of the things to be (still)

3) hold on to what we've got. it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not.

4) cold english blood runs hot

5) it feels alright, it keeps your mind on the page

6) Music when the lights come on, The girl I thought I knew has gone, And with her my heart had disappeared...Well I no longer hear the music

7) it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me

8) Falling out of aeroplanes and hiding out in holes/ Waiting for the sunset to come, people going home

9) I've got this store-bought way of saying I'm okay/ and you learned how to cry in total silence

10) who am i to think i can go it alone/something tells me this is bringing me down

11) I was meant for the crowd, I was meant for the shouting.
I was meant to raise these hands/ With quiet all about me

12) I don't know why I was so ashamed / Such a waste of time /And I don't know who I was trying to be /All those lies

13) I really like you/ Can we play tomorrow?

14) it's forgetting that would beat it all/ it's easier when they don't ever call

15) where am I /sleeping at the console/ I dreamt something that I don't remember

16) I could find her in a thunderstorm just by the way that the rain would fall

17) And I have learned that even landlocked lovers yearn for the sea like navy men

18) i had no radio show, nor did i have homemade clothes, home curtains of the same material

19) lay down a list of what is wrong, things you've told him all along, and pray to God he hears you

20) trees like bones, yellow windows, memories, thorns, oh and you

21) you don't really need to know every last detail, it's hardly worth telling. suffice to say i said that i would be there and never came through.

22)No one is allowed to be so proud, they never reach out, when they're giving up

23) once you've fallen from classical virtue, you won't have soul for to wake up and hold you

24) there's more to life than books you know, but not much more

25)Wear those pretty clothes /Drive them pretty cars /You a super hero /You a super star/
You a super man
Current Mood: mellowmellow
Current Music: Fiddle and the Drum, A Perfect Circle
22 May 2006 @ 05:37 pm
Talib Kweli.

MMM Kweli.

I like the gym now.
Is that wierd?

<3 h.
Current Mood: goodgood
Current Music: Guerrilla Monsoon Rap, Talib Kweli